Master how to gain control of situations to
improve your life. Know yourself a little
better and understand why you react and behave the
way you do. Hope that you would find these tips
useful and handy.
STEPS TO GREATER SELF-ESTEEM
Ever wonder how
some people seem born with an inner confidence? Don't worry, experts say
it can be cultivated
IDENTIFIED as the ultimate key to
happiness, the door to success, the path to healthy relationships, the
essential component of personal fulfillment, and the ingredient for
eliminating toxic ones. What is this very important 'it' ? 'It ' is
self-esteem. According to the National Council for Self-esteem in
Sacramento, California, self-esteem is 'the feeling that you are worthy
of happiness and capable of managing life's challenges.' For many,
self-esteem is an elusive ingredient, Yet psychologists universally
agree that it can be cultivated by anyone. Here are eight steps to
1) TAKE A PERSONAL INVENTORY
When Philadelphia psychiatrist and
author, Donald L Nathanson counsels patients struggling with low
self-esteem, he urges them to make an exhaustive list of their
positives, large and small. Are you a hard worker? Are you a loyal
friend? Can you operate a VCR?
Nathanson advises patients to consult
the list as soon as something goes wrong- a missed promotion, a lost
love, or any other emotional setback. '"That way you an isolate the
event," he explains. "You can see it as a specific experience, not
something that defines your whole life."
2) THINK OPTIMISTICALLY
Optimistic thinking is a sure-fire way
of creating an upward cycle, moving from one success to another.
Consider 14 year-old swimmer, Shane Gould. When a reporter at a swim
meet in the United States asked her how she thought she would do, Shane
replied: " I have a feeling there will be a world record set today." She
went on to set two world records in the 100m and 200m freestyle events.
Later Gould was asked how she thought
she would fare in the more gruelling 400m event. Smiling, Shane replied:
" I get stronger with every race, and besides, my parents promised that
they'd take me to Disneyland if I win, and we're leaving tomorrow!" She
left for Disneyland with three world records.
3) MEET A CHALLENGE AND
In 1970. former Olympic skier, Jimmie
Heugahe was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). At the time, the
standard medical wisdom was the MS patients should live non-physical
lives. Huega reluctantly accepted the prescription of a quiet life. But
after four inactive years, he felt worse. Fearing further physical and
mental deterioration, Huega devised his own treatment plan, " one in
which I, not the disease. took charge," he says. Huega began cycling and
swimming. Within as few months he felt healthier than he had been in
four years. Subsequent studies confirmed what Huega experienced: Rather
than speeding up deterioration, exercise can strengthen and energise MS
patients, physically and emotionally.
4) SET HIGHER GOALS
Give yourself the benefit of any doubt
by telling yourself you can achieve more. "Strive to a higher position
in life." says minister Robert H. Schuller in his book Self-love. "Why
not ? You'll prove that you've got more on the ball than you thought...
Through honest hard work and sincere dedication, you can rise higher on
the social or economic scale than you are now."
5) LEARN SOMETHING NEW
The least fulfilled people are those who
are not growing. Learning something new builds confidence because it
forces you to push the boundaries, expanding the mind an spirit. "It's a
mistake to think that once you're done with school you need never learn
anything new," declares actress Sophia Loren.
"So if you find that you need glasses,
get a little pain in your knee, notice a few brown spots on your hands,
don't despair. There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, the
creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love."
6) EXERCISE REGULARLY
Consistent moderate exercise not only
controls weight, it strengthens the heart, lowers cholesterol, reduces
stress and improves circulation. It also lifts the spirit considerably.
Select a physical activity that you enjoy such as walking, jogging,
cycling or swimming. Then do it faithfully at least three times a week.
7) DEMONSTRATE GOODWILL
Work to make the world around you a
kinder place. You will feel good while improving the quality of life of
other. "These days, we tend to forget acts of kindness toward others,"
observes Bruce A Baldwin, a psychologist from North Carolina.
"Offer your seat on a bus to an elderly person, or wave another
car through when you have the right of way. You'll feel an inner glow
knowing that your small act has made a difference."
8) ACT HAPPY
The saying, "Fake it until you make it"
has a great truth. A key step to greater self-esteem is simply to adopt
the stance of being a confident person who is totally comfortable in
life. Like an actor, you can grow into a role. This is advice offered by
Wayne W. Dyer in his book Real Magic: Creating Miracles in Everyday
"Act the part that you want to play. Go
right out and without ever telling anyone else that you're really a
quaking, shivering mass of jelly inside, just act confidently in a given
situation where no one knows you. In that present moment of your life,
you are the new, miraculous, self-confident person,"